“Remembering and nourishing memories of happy times you’ve had together can help you get past irritation and those times when you’re wondering if you want to stay in the relationship,” says Ms. But learning to look beyond a particular bad patch to see your partner objectively and lovingly can pull you through. “But partners who move toward forgiveness are better able to maintain their connection because they make a conscious decision not to dwell on the mistakes their partner has made.” Be realisticĮvery long-term relationship will have its share of disappointments.
“People who don’t forgive often have problems maintaining positive feelings toward their partners,” says Ms. Without forgiveness, however, little hurts as well as betrayals can tear a relationship apart. Resentment, anger and blame are normal reactions when your loved one does something hurtful.
Here are suggestions on how to strengthen the connection with your partner. “To make it work, couples need the maturity to realize a long-lasting relationship will entail sacrifice, commitment and hard work, but that the payoff of a deeper love and stable, loving home life is well worth the effort.” “We expect a lot from our relationships, and the fact is, long-term marriages or relationships are difficult to sustain, given the pressures most of us live with,” says Sue Maisch, L.S.W., a family and child counselor in Glenwood Springs, Colo. Keeping your primary relationship healthy, positive, supportive and together isn’t easy.
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